Give The Red Light District The Green Light?
After a recent survey discovered that nearly 40% of all citizens in Erisianna are single, there has been an increasingly loud call for the legalisation of prostitution.
1. "I just can't get a girl no matter what I do," laments acne-afflicted nerd, Abraham O'Bannon. "If the cops would just look the other way about prostitution, it'd make my life much easier. Yeah, I'd be risking all sorts of diseases, but it's my body isn't it?"
2. "We can't allow this to happen!" protests Dr. Fleur Steele, senior pathologist of Erisianna's largest hospital. "Prostitution is a dangerous business and must remain illegal! People need to be more aware of the consequences that could follow like the risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, or even syphilis. I say we get some funding for a large awareness programme on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe then people will act responsibly between the covers. It'll be expensive sure, but well worth it."
3. "Not so fast now!" interjects daring entrepreneur, Roxanne Nagasawa. "Why don't we just have the prostitution industry run by the government? By letting the government regulate prostitution, Erisianna can force any patrons to undergo tests for diseases, make prostitutes have regular medical check-ups and pay a portion of their profits to the government. Of course we'd still have to put more policemen on the streets to keep illegal brothels from popping up and make sure the hospitals are equipped to handle the extra workload, but you can always raise taxes to account for that."
Close Encounters of the Sci-fi Kind?
A recent, well-publicized UFO sighting over rural areas of Erisianna has turned people's attention to the skies, and what... or who... might be up there.
1. "This event proves one thing: there are other life-forms out there," says eccentric astronomer Hope Thiesen, "All we have to do is find them! What is the price of a few hundred Radio Telescopes compared to the benefit of living in peace and harmony with our brethren of the stars?"
2. "Spies! It's gotta be spies! A few planes or satellites from our enemies or 'allies' in our region," rages General Elizabeth Hanover, head of Erisianna's military, "The only way to keep those snoops out of our airspace is to patrol the streets 'n skies, and shoot 'em down! Even if they are some sort of little green aliens, a couple of SAM batteries and a few flak cannons'll keep 'em from abducting our fnords."
3. "Extraterrestrial lifeforms? Alien invaders? I don't know why we even have to listen to such idiocy!" complains prize-winning physicist Miranda Li, "The idea of 'aliens' on another planet is highly unlikely, and even if they did exist, getting from there to here is technically impossible! I say we forget this nonsense and stop spending our tax dollars on it. Leave this sort of foolishness to the people who attend those 'trekkie' conventions."