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Artsy me - by Micha

NS issue


A Uniform Plan For Erisianna's Students?

The Issue
A random PTA meeting has brought the debate over school uniforms to your attention.

The Debate
1. "I think uniforms are great," says Roxanne Wong, your Minister of Education during a cabinet meeting. "They instil a sense of community within our schools and lower crime - and the pupils can go about their daily business without having to worry about being browbeaten by their classmates for not wearing the latest trainers. Erisianna simply cannot do without them. If the children don't like them, then hard cheese."

2. "Dude, your plan stinks," says Pip Steele, leader of The Students Union. "Our clothing is part of who we are; it lets us express ourselves just by passing someone in the corridor. To say we must wear these inhibiting uniforms is an affront to our personal freedom! So back off with the uniforms, dude, students should be allowed to go to school dressed however they like. Or not dressed, if that's their style."

Power Problems Need Bright Solution

The Issue
The oldest power station in Erisianna suffered a catastrophic failure last night, plunging a third of Erisianna's national power supply grid into darkness. There is no debate that it needs to be replaced, but the question is with what?

The Debate
1. "The solution is clear," says environmental activist Prudence McGuffin. "Wind turbines and solar power stations are the cleanest there are. We must switch power production to forms of renewable energy, that will never run out. The only minor problems are that wind farms will take up a great deal of space and of course we can't exactly rely on the weather. It isn't as though we control it. But think of how much healthier people will be without all that pollution!"

2. "Wind power? Solar collectors? Bah! Have you ever wondered when the least amount of strain is placed on the national grid? WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING!" exclaims Southern Erisianna Electra official Beth Spirit. "We need power under our control, and cheaply. Coal has been the cheapest and most abundant power source for ages. We don't need this airy fairy wind malarky when we have cheap and reliable power available for all. True, pollution will be a bit on the heavy side but I'm sure that's only a minor problem, with how well funded our health system is!"

3. "Now the way I see it is that it's either green, expensive, and sprawling; or compact, polluting and cheap. Wouldn't it be nice if we had the best of both worlds, well, we can!" claims fission technician Naki Hanover. "Nuclear power is reliable, clean and although it isn't cheap, it won't break the bank. There is a risk of deadly meltdown, but this is relativly small, and the only people who could be against this are anti-nuclear protesters, but what do we care about those tree-hugging hippies?"

Plague Of The Hybrids!

The Issue
Angry farmers have taken to the streets demanding the government to act after reported sightings of strange fnord-like dogs eating all the crops in fields.

The Debate
1. "This unholy union should never have taken place to begin with," comments Violet McAlpin, an angry farmer. "The fnord was never meant to mate with a dog! They eat my crops, they attack my livestock and they're breeding so quickly they're swamping the environment! We can't make a living like this! You've got to give us the funds and manpower to shoot anything that comes within a mile of our property and put an end to these freaks of nature! We must wipe these creatures out now or before you know it all we'll be eating is fish."

2. "We can't just destroy these creatures!" exclaimed Thomas Love, owner of Erisianna's biggest safari park. "They may look ugly to you, but I think they're just beautiful. We need to study them and understand them; think of what we could learn! These wonderful beasts may be a little harmful to the environment, but think of the people who will flock to see them! It would be an educational experience! Think of the money!"

3. "We could always just kill off all the dogs," Roger du Pont of the "Keep The Species Pure" foundation whispers to you in a conversation. "The fnord is one of the many things our country is famous for; any perversion of its image reflects upon us all! We can't have their image spoilt by these ugly abominations! Just get the police to go around and kill them all and we can rest easy knowing our countryside is safe!

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