Vote 1 "None of the Above"!
A loose coalition of political activists running the gamut of the political spectrum has started a petition to add "None of the Above" as an option on every ballot, so that a voter can reject all candidates if he feels none of them represent a viable option. If "None of the Above" wins the election, a new election with all-new candidates would have to be held.
1. "It's a simple matter really," says left-wing activist and former rock star Peggy Hendrikson, "Sometimes when you're voting, all the options suck. Why then should people be forced to hold their nose and vote for the lesser of two, or even three or four evils? Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot would ensure that the people have a choice at all times, even if that choice is to reject the choices they have been given!"
2. "Adding 'None of the Above' to the ballot makes absolutely no sense," contributes conservative political pundit Prudence Wu. "Those who want to run for office have already put their names on the ballot, and if none of those options suits the voter, that's just too bad. Instead, we ought to prevent this sort of problem and limit the number of options. Sure, less people can run, but that will eliminate costly runoff elections completely!"
Illegal File-sharing Flares
A surprise raid conducted on ISPs over the last week in Erisianna shows that more than 30% of all Internet data transfer in Erisianna at one time or another is used by illegal file-shares to illegally distribute files, most notably songs.
1. "What we need to do is hack their computers and format their hard drives," says Elizabeth Jong-Il, recording industry representative. "People need to be taught to not mess with the law. This is theft pure and simple. And they're not only halving our revenue to tune of billions of golden apples, but you are also stealing a few hundredths of a golden apple from the artist for every song they steal. THINK OF THE STARVING ARTISTS!"
2. "Yo, dude, like, don't be hatin' man," says teenager Prudence Nagasawa. "We're like, going to change the whole structure of our society. Everything should be like, publicly available to, like, everybody, dude. Copyrights are so, like, uncool man and we need to get rid of them. That'd be totally radical, and cool as well."
3. "Yo, dang, blizzity blang, yo, this ain't, right, yo," says Beth Love, famous rapper with three platinum albums. "Dang, yo, we dang need to copy-protect my dang CDs, yo. That dang playability life dang decreases, yo, but it's the only way to stop this, dang, yo."
Harry Potter Censorship Row
The latest "Harry Potter" book to hit schools across Erisianna has stirred up the greatest controversy yet.
1. "I quite enjoyed the book, until I got to the part where Harry summons evil demons to do his bidding," says religious leader Tobias Gutenberg. "Now that's just wrong. We need to restore some sense to this debate, by which I mean we should remove this book from the shelves, salt it thoroughly, and burn it."
2. Teachers union President Fleur Summers says, "Come on, the book is fantasy! And it's a damn good read. I'd like the government to issue a statement of support for our teachers and librarians, so kids can enjoy good books without interference from religious wackos, like Christians."