Lies, damn lies, and some statistics
A post someone else made reminded me that I'd been meaning to go through the list of LJ interests and do some "analysis", the results of which follow forthwith. Just FYI, anyone who doesn't get that this is a big-ass joke should stop reading right about now.
Cats (119944) trounced dogs (69868), and kittens (25440) beat puppies (22207), by a much narrower margin. Conclusion: cuteness tends to even the score.
Intelligence (16806) got beat by learning (24942) which got beat by creativity (25067). They all lost to drugs (25485).
Happiness (23883) is only slightly more popular than depression (23183) and pain (23232).
Good news for Jesus: you just beat Wicca, 26185 to 26173
Bad news for Jesus: You lost to Adult Swim, 26185 to 26244
God (42326) lost to a variety of heathen interests, including alcohol (42462), beer (45012), pizza (49244), money (52843), parties (54303) and drinking (57147). Perhaps the omnipotent source of all creation can content himself with having narrowly edged out Tori Amos (41902), who often sings about him.
Invader Zim 30578 snuck past both making out (30438) and porn (29994). What the hell is wrong with you people? Zim's comment on the results: "Foolish humans! Right now you are too busy with your silly Earthen fun (34568), hanging out (30930) and chatting (34210) about all the drama (30938) in your goth (30975) scene. But soon you will kneel before Zim and the mighty Irken Empire!"
Girls (86435) are more popular than women (78263), by about 10%, or a ratio of 1.1 to 1. I can hear some feminist teeth grinding already. But wait! Boys (128750) are more popular than men (52197) by a huge margin of 2.46 to 1, or 146% more popular! Makes you wonder which gender really prefers partners that are juvenile and non-threatening.
In a related non-shocker, money (52843) is more popular than men (52197). Hint: One of the 2 is more useful, because if you have it, it can be used to attract the other. Trying it the other way around doesn't work.
Sleeping (170762) and anime (158110) both beat out sex (150617). Are we gonna have a continuation-of-the-species problem here? Get to work, people! (And "children" didn't even make it onto the most-popular list.) On the other hand sex (150617) did beat food (120820) quite handily. Nice to see not all your priorities are whacked. Except.... if you add up food (120820) and eating (59203) the total (180023) is almost 20% more popular than sex. D'OH! I take it back, you people really are all screwed up. Less talk, more monkey!
Writing (321252) is slightly more popular than reading (320274). Will this lead to a subtle imbalance, with a small but ever-growing pile of unread writing?
Kevin Smith (22794) will be pleased to know he beat monkeys (22731) (the animals or the band? Either way, he's not in much position to complain), puppies (22207) and Angel (22028). On the down side, Buffy (50593) stepped on him, hard.
Speaking of Kevin Smith, Star Wars (38963) put in a decent showing. Star Trek, as far as I can tell, didn't make the cut.
Chinese food (28874) is a bit more popular than bondage (28405), so beware your partner tying you up and then nipping off for some takeaway kung pao chicken. Or does that only happen to me?
Feminism (21084) is slightly more popular than Fiona Apple (21067), but I suspect that will prove cold comfort against having lost to cheerleading (21155).
Yaoi (21387) squeaked in near the bottom of the list, but I didn't see yuri on there at all. Hmmm. Seems like LJ collectively likes its men young, naked and in pairs.
DDR (Dance Dance Revolution, 24493) is slightly more popular than college (24041), not to mention a damn sight cheaper.
You prefer your friends (my friends, 28006) to slash (27792), but only just barely. (Note: This one sorta fudged due to statistical difficulties.)
Cheese (93888) edged out chocolate (93249). I wonder if someone makes cheese-filled chocolate bars? Hey, they did it with hot dogs! :P By contrast, ice cream (54847) was a distant 3rd.
Kissing (80029) landed ahead of talking (77724)... maybe there's some hope for the species after all?
About 1.9 million people use LJ regularly, but only a few like it: (livejournal, 21400)
Laughing (100408) beat out smiling (22179), so if I see one of you frowning, I guess I'll try telling a joke.
You prefer death (40304) to romance (39531). Here's hoping that's a Sandman thing.
You'd rather game (rpgs, 27091) than flirt (flirting, 26446). Bit of a disappointment, that.