I might have spoken a tad too soon.
Today, after the meeting, one of the elders came to talk to me. The presiding overseer came to ask me if it was possible to schedule a meeting so that he and I, and another elder, could chat.
Yes, I know, the meeting for disfellowshipping is with 3 elders, not 2. But I dislike the idea of being reprimanded by a single elder enough already, let alone 2. Sure, he said it would be a talk for "encouragement", but why exactly would it take a scheduled meeting with two elders to encourage me?
Maybe this is a good thing.
A question comes up in my mind, though. If they ask, will I have the courage to tell them my doubts? So far, I've been pretending everything's ok. I suppose it starts to show, though, when you spend weeks at a time not going to field service and regularly missing one or two meeting per week.
Also, Alex said she's angry with me and wouldn't tell me why. Yeah, that's encouraging.