Andrea Coelho (maidden) wrote,
Andrea Coelho
maidden

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Feast vs. fast

Life has such extremes. Seems we're always moving across peaks of joy and melancholy. It helps keep things changing, chases away monotony, of course, but every once in a while we get into new depths of low and it looks like we're never gonna get out. Maybe a small shred of hope in the back of our minds keeps us holding on, looking up for a light (or a helping hand). But sometimes these extreme lows take too long to pass. Sometimes we can almost feel that hope stretching itself, straining and, finally, breaking down. No there's not always hope. Sometimes we feel truly lost.

I believe we always know when we lose something we love the instant we lose them. Even if they're still within sight, we know they won't be there in a moment. Like dropping a very fragile vase, we know it will break instants before it hits the ground. We know we can't fix it. I should say so, I was always such a clumsy child. Not on purpose, of course. I always tried to pay attention, tried to be careful. It was never enough. And it didn't help to see others think that I didn't care. I did, I still do. I can't help caring.

There was one time my mother actually called me that. Clumsy, "desastrada". A disaster waiting to happen. I cried, she apologized. It still hurts to remember. Her prized possession is still broken, can't be fixed.
Tags: issues, parents, stephen
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