Most of the time I can just bury it all so deep in me that even I don't see it. And I'm happy. Not pretending, not faking, just... numb to it. And then every once in a while it all comes back. More frequently now. Yeah, last week I could blame hormones, but what am I gonna say this time?
I don't know what's wrong with me. I know the therapy is helping, it's bringing these things up for me to deal with so I'm not as deadened as before. But I don't know how to deal with these things! And no one can teach me. I feel like letting go of everything. Everything I always cared about feels worthless. I feel worthless.
Days without feeling despair: