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Artsy me - by Micha


I am not well. I've never been this confused in my life. It all just feels pointless. I'm trying so hard not to give in to despair, holding on to Jehovah for help, but it's so overwhelming sometimes. I don't know what to do. I don't wanna give up, but I can't see the alternatives anymore. I feel pathetic writing this, even more than I already do most of the time, but I know I need to let it out somehow...

Most of the time I can just bury it all so deep in me that even I don't see it. And I'm happy. Not pretending, not faking, just... numb to it. And then every once in a while it all comes back. More frequently now. Yeah, last week I could blame hormones, but what am I gonna say this time?

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know the therapy is helping, it's bringing these things up for me to deal with so I'm not as deadened as before. But I don't know how to deal with these things! And no one can teach me. I feel like letting go of everything. Everything I always cared about feels worthless. I feel worthless.

Days without feeling despair: 9 0


hey, you've been on my friends list for a while. missed ur posts. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. I hope it will all work itself out in due time. dealing with issues is never easy, but things to get better. i had some stuff i had to deal with too, and eventually it all passes, and things get better.. you just have to hang on.
and trust in jehovah. just pray lots and lots, it makes you feel better right away. hang in there!!
Thank you. I do trust in Jehovah and pray... I just lose sight of Him sometimes and get a little depressed. But He always helps me get through =)
that's only human. we all go through that :) and He always bails us back out! one way or another!
all the best to you!

Re: a thousand times a thousand

Thanks. It's hard to hold onto things when I'm feeling particularly gloomy, but I know that at least when I don't have the strength to hold onto Jehovah, He has the strength to hold onto me... I always pray for Him not to let go. But the comfort from friends and spiritual brothers does help a lot =)
times are hard dear one. Just know that Jehovah sees your pain.
Remain strong now with his help & he will bless you later.
He blesses me even now. I just don't see it sometimes when I'm feeling down. Thank you ♥ agape