?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Artsy me - by Micha

P-r-i-v-a-c-y!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg I want my own place!

I missed my grandma, I really did. But 3 days after she came back from her trip I already remember perfectly why I wanted to visit my parents in the first place, even if it meant being away from my friends.

I'm pretty sure I haven't told you guys yet that my bedroom used to be the TV room, a public area of the house where my grandparents and uncle Bob (yes, I have an uncle Bob and he still lives with his parents) spent most of their days. The third bedroom of the house was supposed to be mine when I came, but they found out it's smaller than the old TV room, so they switched the rooms' functions: I got the TV room to sleep in and the TV went with the sofas to the third bedroom. But I don't think grandma's quite aware of the switch yet, since she wants to spend the whole day in MY ROOM!!!

Most of you might not understand why this is such a big deal to me. I am an only child. My room has always been mine and mine alone. My refuge. My sanctuary. It's where I run to and lock myself in to cry when I can't stand to be around other people anymore. And I can't do that if my grandma's sitting on my bed.

Mom figured it out pretty early, what with living with me since (before) I was born and everything. But grandma for some reason feels the need to randomly knock on my door (she does that now, after I asked mom to tell her she shouldn't just walk into my room without even asking), come in, sit on my bed and watch me as I'm on the computer.

I used to think it was because she had something to say, but it's not. She doesn't even care about talking much. She just wants to sit there and drop a hint that I should turn off the air-conditioning because of the electricity bill, or that I should go to sleep earlier. I know she's right about those things she says, but she doesn't need to be so patronizing when telling me. And she doesn't need to sit in my room for over half an hour at a time to tell me that!

I've gotten into this habit of locking my door now and saying that I'm changing clothes or something whenever she knocks. What am I supposed to say? "No, grandma, I'm not doing anything important or undressed, but I still don't want you to come in 'cause I'd rather be alone right now". I'm pretty sure she wouldn't understand. But I don't like being locked in just so I can use my computer without someone staring at me. And I don't wanna lie to her, but telling her I'd rather be alone than enjoy her company would hurt her. A lot.

I wanna keep the door unlocked. I think my grandparents and uncle Bob might start thinking I'm using drugs or something. But I need my privacy even more than my reputation!

Comments

hi

I know exactly what you mean. I need my room too. I don't wanna share it with anyone! Mine and mine alone. So yeah I can relate to this post.

Xenia

Re: hi

Thanks. I just needed to vent a little. For someone who values privacy so much I sure tend to write a lot of personal stuff on my webjournal, don't I?

Re: hi

nah it's all good.
i'm not an only child... but kinda. i totally agree though, my room is MINE. sometimes when people knock on my bedroom door, i just dont answer, i dont feel like talking to anyone, and i dont want to move. go away. i feel for u!
I feel for me too... lol

How can you be "kinda" an only child?
my only sibling is 10 yrs younger than i

....

I hear u girl.. I lived alone for 1 month before Elaine moved in.. and that month was total BLISS!!! I love being alone.

Re: ....

She better not read this... lol

Re: ....

lol... she wont (I hope not)
Well, my grandma's too young to be losing her marbles. She just doesn't know how to deal with me in general. Not just with the door issue. She's always dropping by and asking why I'm sad or if I'm upset. I absolutely must be smiling at all times, like the happy little girl she still thinks I am. I'm not allowed to not smile.