April 2nd, 2004

Artsy me - by Micha

[Insert witty/sarcastic subject line here]

Today I woke up smiling. At first I wasn't quite sure why, but then I remembered my day yesterday.

The day started out completely normal. I was late for school. The bus took forever. Some weirdo sat next to me even though there were a dozen empty pairs of seats. The bus never made it to the University. Why, you ask? Because someone decided that, to really grab the government's attention to the needs of professors, just a strike wouldn't be enough. They blocked the road to the U.

So, after walking fifteen minutes under the scorching midday sun of late summer/early autumn in Brazil, I finally got past the block and into the University. I believe my brains might have been fried in the process because anyone in their right mind would've realized that it was pointless. No teachers were there. Even if a handful of them weren't in the strike, they wouldn't care enough to try to get past the block just to do their job like they're paid to!

I went back home after talking to a couple of classmates I met there. No one knows what's going to happen, if we still have to hand in the projects we haven't yet. I can't help but wonder if it wouldn't have been better if this strike waited another week so we'd be on vacation. I wanted this strike. I wanted to be out of school until November! I'd get a job or an internship, go on field service more, rest! I was counting on this strike to be able to rest properly. But I wasn't counting on it interrupting the semester when there's only one week left of it.

Anyhow. I went home, took one of my typical 1-hour showers and decided to chill out. So what if this strike screws up my agenda? At least I'll get my rest, won't I?

I continued reading my beloved webcomics. I can't belive I missed out on them all these years. My latest favorite is Checkerboard Nightmare. I waited watching the clock tick (metaphorically speaking, of course, the computer clock doesn't tick) until 4 PM, when Leo, the guy I've had a mildly obsessive crush on for the last 8 months, was supposed to come over and talk about The Kiss [cue dramatic music].

He was late. He's usually late, but never as much as yesterday. By the time he finally arrived I was sure he'd stood me up. The fact that I was very angry at him did not help start the conversation more easily. After dancing around the subjects for a few minutes (which a lot less time than the two of us usually spend talking about random things to avoid talking about the serious stuff) I brought up the subject.

He said he would not apologize for the kiss, since we both wanted it. But that he can't date me. Same reason I've been giving everyone ever since I started this journal. He's baptized, I'm not, he wants to be a ministerial servant and, if he's dating an unbaptized girl, he won't be given this privilege, which he's been fighting to get for the last year and a half. I told him that I understand, that it was the reason I never "made my move" or anything like it.

The conversation continued from there to related subjects. He explained a few things that were still unclear to me. I explained a few things that were still unclear to him. So I figure we're even now. He's pretty confused about his feelings, about me, about almost everything, actually. One thing he made very clear: he wants to try. He wants to date me, just not until I'm baptized.

Thursday night was difficult, what with Leo making me be the sane, reasonable one (those of you who know me know that I'm pretty much the opposite of that most of the time) and not let him kiss me. Again. He really needs to work on that lack of self-control... By the time he was leaving we were deciding on kids' names and where we would live and where the wedding would be... And, no, this is not an exaggeration. It was a joke, but we did discuss those things, among other serious relationship stuff. Like a kiss quota. He wants to establish a minimum of fifteen kisses per day because, according to him, I'm a very good kisser. Somehow I didn't associate this with J-lo and Ben Affleck's pre-nup. Until just now, that is.

So then it's official that we're just waiting for my baptism to make it official... There's too much bureaucracy in this already... But I'll fix it. It's fixable, right?

So today I woke up in a very good mood. Alex, my Bible teacher, came over in the morning and helped me prepare for the presentation I'll have to do on the 21st. I'm very nervous about it, of course, but I believe this time it'll be better than the last time. It couldn't possibly be worse. Claudia showed up and we spent the afternoon together and talked a lot. I hope she comes to the congregation this weekend. She might, but I don't want to get too hopeful so I won't be disappointed again. Dani took a picture in England next to a sign that said "maiden" and sent it to me, just to say she thought about me... That was very nice, especially after this rant I wrote about how I worry sometimes that people are forgetting all about me.

So it's been a fairly good day. Now if I could just shake off the feeling that it's all about to fall apart... Do you ever feel like this? Like everything's just too good to last?