October 3rd, 2003

Artsy me - by Micha

After dominoes at the beach

Yes, Leo was there. But we barely spoke to each other. So, no matter how much fun I had, it feels like it sucked. It didn't, I have a headache from laughing for 3 hours straight. But I wish I'd spent that time with Leo instead.

It seems that whenever there's other people around, we end up in different conversation groups, so how do I fix that? I remove the other people around! I'm wondering if I should just invite him to come over so we can talk for a bit.

Sometimes I feel like just giving this whole thing up. Finding another guy and directing my feelings towards him, just to uncomplicate things (yeah, I know that doesn't work, but it's worth a shot). But none of the other guys I know are Leos (that sounded awful). I made the big mistake of "allowing" my feelings to get this far and I know that the only way out is having my heart broken again.

I remember the last time I liked someone this much, and it took me over a year to "get over" him, as much as it's possible to get over this kind of crush. And now here I am, back at the roller coaster ride. I just thought it would be easier this time. Boy, was I wrong or what?
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