Water Supply Problems Becoming a Major Drain
Due to the explosive population growth in Erisianna, coupled with recent droughts, people are beginning to worry about the nation's decreasing water supply, and who should get first dibs on the vital H20.
1. "We need this water to raise our crops," says incensed farmer Al Dodinas. "If it wasn't for us farmers, the rest of Erisianna would be starving. How about laying the blame where it belongs, and look to those cookie cutter suburban houses with their green lawns and pristinely washed mini-vans!"
2. "It is my right to have the most beautiful lawn in the neighborhood," says neighborhood spokesman Jazz Washington. "Our community spends a lot of effort cultivating a nice environment for our kids to grow up in. Why, if they didn't have these nice lawns to play in, they would be hanging out on street corners peddling drugs, or worse! Won't someone please think of the children?"
3. "Here is a novel idea," proclaims Freddy King, spokesperson for radical environmental group Leave Nature Alone. "How about getting rid of all these dams and irrigation projects that are getting in the way of Mother Nature's plans for the water. It is time to allow the rivers to take their natural courses and leave the environment alone. I'm sure things will work out fine if we let Nature take its course."
4. "Obviously, who gets how much water is only a part of the problem," notes famed population-control advocate May Frederickson. "We must try to curtail the rapid growth of our population, whether by limiting the amount of children people may have, or by deporting immigrants and criminals... we must get a handle on our population before we can hope to correct this water supply problem."